All posts tagged class

  • Self-Portrait: Draft 3 // Final

    Narrative & Argument.

    This is what I ended up turning in for class. I’m happy with it, but of course after all the revisions I made, I can’t help but also feeling like I’m not that good of a writer.

    I decided to really focus it on New York to shrink down the scope of the writing assignment. I even tried to make it only include events in New York so I deleted the Colorado example and tried using this:

    Not that I had enormous problems, but I started imagining that the excitement of The City—the one everyone talked about it—would rub off on me. I fanaticized that every day I would be bombarded by requests to go to this wild event or that one-of-a-kind art show. In my head, I would have to politely push away all the competing offers for my attention, while being secretly delighted by all the possibilities. By default, I would become a more fascinating person by living in the city, wouldn’t I?

    However, I forgot to pin down exactly who could conceivably be asking me to go to these events since I only knew two people in the entire city and that, if presented with a platter of options, I hate making decisions. Just three days ago I had spent approximately five hours at Ikea painfully going back and forth between options. I left miserable with only a duvet (no cover), a single set of hangers, a curtain rod, and a list of items to research before making the next trip. It had been Valentine’s Day. 

    I mean, it’s a little entertaining, but not as strong and really was a different tone than everything else. Well, it just didn’t work for lots of reasons.

    Below is the final paper and I also recorded it to make it a little easier to digest.



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  • Self-Portrait: Draft 2

    Narrative & Argument

    I felt like my first draft was a little week, like I was more interested in writing about the experiment but the reader is left with this uncertain conclusion. There’s not thing learned or taken away, it’s just kind of this moment that I wrote about. Professor Kaufer agreed. I also just try to write everything I could remember the first time and it became a little long-winded. I tried to cut some stuff out but I think it could still use a bit more pruning. 

    A part that I think is unclear is that I’m not trying to show this magical moment where I transform into a new, confident person, but a small victory where I feel a freedom from my paralyzing over-thinking. I mean, yes I do feel like I’ve gotten better and I really do call upon this idea of “wearing my beret” now, but I am by no means a self-assured person in the world. Kaufer seemed to be pushing me in that direction, and I tried a little to make it more clear in this draft that this was not the case by introducing the little girl at the end. 

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